Saturday, 18 December 2010

A rant of Make-believe

I believe in powers and magic, I believe in story.

My reasons may differ to others. Most individuals will consider their tale to be about themselves. I am not the lead role in what's to be thought as my story.

I am in others as merely a guest star, an extra and a silhouette of a later featured character. But that is understandable and necessary.

As with my own story I am still simply a necessity for the lead role to blossom. I am the vessel of the great explorer and the stage of the brilliant actor.

My skill, My idea, My creativity is the main character of my tale, therefore in turn of myself to It, I am It’s tool, It’s voice, It’s Connection.

I am of no use and little importance, what of me that is seen of value is all It's doing, the creative, The Idea.

The Idea is super power, The Idea is real magic, for most people, they see themselves as the controller of their idea, their magic.

They believe The Idea will grab you and make you see what you are able to do with it.

As I perceive it The Idea will grab you and make you see what its able to do with you.

It’s the Vibe in a musician’s muscle’s and the energy bursting through a dancer. It’s the passion at the end of a paintbrush and the vision at the end of a sentence.

Like with all story’s there is good magic and bad.

For some it’s a blessing and for others it’s a curse.

It’s the true magic, it can consume you and as I believe it, in a worse situation, you can consume it.

Some may have it but not realize and do so by investing years of study into a possible adoption. Learning or buying an upgrade of magic enabling them to view and absorb information, which will wash over them with a new euphoric clarity.

But dark magic is also viable this way, thinking it needs improvement, thinking of it as yours and not its own trying to sway its natural course. Be wary this is dangerous and could ruin both you and It.

I am a slave to my skill, but a happy and great full slave. It gives me meaning; its story is one I never tire of. Its my master, my colleague, my friend, my only magic and power.

If you ask me of my beliefs, of God, of Santa, of Love. I may not believe in these truly and honestly.

And yet in contradiction to that, I am as anyone with a pencil in hand, poem in pocket or song on their lips, I am part of an Idea.

These qualities and much more are a result of this magic, so yes your damn right I believe.

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Wondering through a load of old computer stuff and finding the odd few slightly unfinished half done bits that i thought id try and squez in time add a bit too and load up on here. and yah from me saying that i know this dont look like much but there are a load more half done bits i will get up son hopefully. hate it when i get distracted buy a different idea and leave a bunch of stuff in limbo only to return half confused about the piece months later Doyh!...
but yah this a cave man comic that i remember barley nothing about apart from a few other cave dudes i still have i a pad that were practice bits i suppose.

Thursday, 4 November 2010

This is a Kids idea of Bacteria from a children's book thing im currently doing for Uni

Friday, 17 September 2010

Thanks goes out to miss Becci Herring for allowing me to us her as a muse in this Life drawing version of Mystique. All digital painting that i wanted to do mostly out of need to do some life drawing with power and as i browsed and took tips from Adam Hughes work on the pin up like girls he tends to do for DC, i got wanting to have a go myself. And as i originally got doodling girls and snooping his stuff out of a need to practice and do some pin up girls i have the Black and White version as just a bad as lass and not a copyrighted Marvel character. if it interests anyone i may also use that one as a T-shirt design.

Sunday, 5 September 2010

"TUY" thats what it is thats what i call it, its a Tuy as it takes on the ruse of a cute cudly toy like stuffed animal with its real jaw closed and than......well it gobbles up the unsuspecting child.....yummy. good TUY isn't he precious.

Monsters and Bots that i just wanted up on this will likely use em in bigger pieces of work of story stuff in future.

Friday, 3 September 2010

Constant feeling of being a fuck up, a loser, a wannabe, a try too damn hard for the same damn lonely empty feeling every damn day. If not my Art its being fit, responsible, successful and having an identity that i can for at least two god damn moments a day really respect and be proud of. Never one too understand style or trend simply making things up from my over keen need to be the freaky observer......yes that's accurate I'm that guy in the cinema that stays to the end just watching people walking out, trying to see in them what the fuck I'm so fucking obviously missing.....I'm the cunt that makes excuses to himself for not really trying to be in with the crowd of so many festival goers....that wanker who can admit to himself " yeah i wouldn't mind doing that sorta stuff, friend stuff" but as id be in a constant judgement of myself and how and why I'm not as decent a human persona as so many around me i scare from this in self preservation of my very little amount of joy i can manege to squeeze from my love of seeing these observations as jokes on my own .....again laughing at myself for myself. I no matter how awesome i apparently am???? am made very rarely aware of this stuff and thus constantly becomes more convinced that the fault of my un-needed/wanted presence is that of my own for either being that smelly kid, that slow kid, that last to be picked kid, now 24 years old and that same alienated feeling is ever more my best bested friend than even my sketch pads and imaginary delusions. Or its due to this very form of thought put into words for all to see this morbid shit that no bright eyed "seize the fecking day" would be A grader, or never a lonely day in their effing lives fake wankers wish to see, because of how scared they are of its honesty and the very thought of this depressing dribble may cause a slight crack that brings their so carefully structured utter lie of joy crashing to their feet.......i say fuck you. i wanna be sad i am sad, i am advised to write it down and as someone who tries hard to show his very mortal very human hatred and nastiness that is... yes perhaps only ever seen in the minds eye but its the true darkness, the being a real person that id expect every bugger to hide. those who delight in showing it are the people known for stating/thinking "good guys finish last" and also, more so as a dreaming artist and a wannabe story teller i say whats to be written is to be read. so yeah I'm sorry if this is a statement of the sorts you could have done without reading but if you really didn't wanna read it you didn't have too you coulda stopped at "being a fuck up". And to be perfectly honest my self loathing sense of self torture would be part of my reasoning to allow anyone to see this and view me as even more a loser, the other part is simply i don't really expect anyone to read all through this any time very soon, as i fail in seeing that very many people could give a shit enough to want too. So i am very likely to be talking/writing to myself anyhow.........hmmmph.

That does sorta help.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Zombies Zombies Zombies.......and a ladie in the wrong place, chow time!

Friday, 23 July 2010

This is the first computer painting iv actually sat and taken care with in a long long while, as iv gotten into the habit with panicking for university stuff of just filling in black line images and getting the colour sorted and out of the way so i can go back to my pad, im a drawing fiend but it is nice to be proud of some colour work again.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

I needed some kind of monster example thing for a web design project a bit ago and wanted a vicious version of an angel to use as little examples of my work at the side of the Web thing even tho im not 100 percent on my web site yet i could put some stills of the design up on this to show what i mean, might do so later. but this is the result pic i got from a random side example its sort of a Fallen Angel.

Friday, 9 July 2010

A monster version of a classic tale what more is to say.

This was originally a painting i did for a competition that i didn't submit as i wasn't pleased with it. As iv been trying to clean out a load of unused half done bits of work on my mac i thought id re-do this in photoshop as shown and its better that it was so tats something, still unsure if you can make sense of it but i really enjoyed the drawing of it, it was the colouring that gave problems. its a collection of trees teaming together to escape in giant manlike guise.